Make that gopher go away!

This time of year is nearly every northern gardener' favorite.  With the magnolia and red bud trees just starting to bloom, our eyes glance greedily over the developing landscape as our minds fill to overflowing with all the possibilities.  Further fueling our imaginations: swirling hedges of sunny forsythia, tulips and daffs of all hues dotting the hills and valleys, and the deeply satisfying scent of pachysandra blooms.

I guess it's only natural for all God's creatures to enjoy the feast of flora spreading out before us like the unrolling of a magical carpet.  But our all-too-human dreams come to an abrupt halt when we encounter large holes in the ground, usually right near all the chomped-upon hosta buds.  The teeth-gnashing reality: gophers gone wild in our coveted garden spaces!!!

Now, before you reach for the BB gun or trap, try the non-confrontational approach I did to discourage the chubby critters.  It takes a little dedication, but I was able to banish the big, fat gopher taking up residence in my yard within a three-week period.  Here's my story:

It started with a phone call from my across-the-street neighbor, who informed me I had a huge groundhog hanging out on my front porch--sitting on the steps, relaxing on the wicker settee, and generally amusing the neighborhood with his antics. 

I was less than entertained.  Although there wasn't much out for him to eat in late March, I knew that if I didn't rid him of the property post-haste I'd have little more than daffodils and lily-of-the valley sprouting from the ground (these are both poisonous, so wildlife always steer clear of them).  I immediately sprung into action.

Step #1:  Critter Ridder.  This hot-pepper mixture smells and tastes awful, so a quick spritz on the developing buds in my garden was a must.  Note the ONE plant I forgot to sprinkle with the stuff:

As you can see, some of the tender buds became a groundhog snack (BTW I use "groundhog" and "gopher" interchangeably.  As far as I know, these critters--cousins of squirrels--are one and the same!).

Step #2:  Physical barrier.  Gophers (and rabbits) may actually hazard the bad taste to get to particularly delectable sprouts  (like the hosta buds), so I cover select plants in wildlife netting.  The super-fine plastic mesh is tough to bite through, yet from a few feet away you can't even see it, so it doesn't mar the visual presentation of your plantings.

Step #3:  Talcum powder.  Unlike babies, gophers do not like the feel of powdery substances on their feet and bodies (and neither do ants, so sprinkle a bit in "ant lanes" in your house and on your property and they'll vacate the area, too).

Step #4: Molasses.  Groundhogs dislike the feel of powder, but they HATE to be covered in sticky molasses.  Coat their holes in the stuff and watch them hightail it out of the yard really fast!  Let's face it, once you get that substance on you, it's, well, "slow as molasses" to get off!