Government Assistance

The other day my friend called me with an offer I could not refuse: free mulch!  Okay, I admit it, I was excited.  Better still, she said, I could have as much as I wanted!  Well, now I was ecstatic!  I envisioned every tree, bush and flower in my yard surrounded by plush pillows of pine bark--without my having to fork over $4.50 a bag!  My enthusiasm foretold not only the woeful fact that I probably need to make more of an effort socially (my heart races at the prospect of culling free mulch while my friends get pumped for a day at the spa with the girls), but the universal truth: we all love to get something for nothing.

I mean, really, think about it.  Who among us has not already earmarked just where we're spending that 100 million we're sure we're gonna win in the lottery?  As the saying goes, "There's no such thing as a free lunch."  Apparently that adage does not apply to mulch--or drainage stone, if you play your cards right.  So what am I yammering on about?  Freebies from none other than our local municipalities.  Seems that tremendous mulch pile was ripe for the picking: literally tons of it spread out on the asphalt right next to the town roller hockey rink.  When towns have hard winters or lots of storms, trees fall.  When trees fall they need to be chopped up and discarded.  Well, we had a very long, cold, tree-damaging winter in the northeast, and that's a lot of tree debris with nowhere to go.

Now most of us aren't used to getting freebies--especially from the government--so even as I drove to the mulch site, I was doubtful.  As my friend and I unloaded our old compound buckets and began shoveling up the stuff like prospectors digging for gold, I found myself looking over my shoulder.  And when the site supervisor drove over to us in his golf cart, I cracked a joke, hoping it would soften him up enough that he wouldn't scold me for stealing.  But, much to my pleasant surprise, he smiled and told me to take as much as I wanted.  And by the way, my wisecrack involved asking if the nearby blue stone pile was up for grabs too--and it was!

The moral of this story?  When you're looking for garden staples, like mulch and drainage stone, put in a call to town hall.  Oh, and, if you're going to post pictures of your friends, best to get a shot of them in a chic restaurant or out on the dance floor, not digging in a 30-foot pile of dirt!  Fortunately this lovely friend is a natural beauty with a forgiving heart!